“The Twelve Days of
Fruitcake”
A Parody Set in New York
City
by: Merriweather Kane and
Lynne Marie
255 words
On
the first day of Christmas,
Aunt Mary gave to me…
A fruitcake!
“Fruitcake, my favorite
Christmas surprise,” I lied.
On the second day of
Christmas,
I gave that cake away…
To Sister.
“Fruitcake, my favorite
Christmas surprise,” she lied.
On the third day of
Christmas,
She passed the cake
along...
To Brother.
“Fruitcake, my favorite
Christmas surprise,” he lied.
On the fourth day of
Christmas,
He passed the cake
along...
To a bully.
“Fruitcake, my favorite
Christmas surprise,” she lied.
On the fifth day of Christmas,
She
passed that cake along…
To
Teacher.
“Fruitcake, my favorite
Christmas surprise,” he lied.
On the sixth day of
Christmas,
He passed that cake
along…
To the star Student.
“Fruitcake, my favorite Christmas surprise,” he lied.
On the seventh day of Christmas,
He passed that cake along…
To Bus Driver.
“Fruitcake, my favorite Christmas surprise,” he lied.
On
the eighth day of Christmas,
Hhe
passed that cake along…
To
a ballerina.
“Fruitcake,
my favorite Christmas surprise,” she lied.
On
the ninth day of Christmas,
She
passed that cake along…
To
a holiday shopper.
“Fruitcake,
my favorite Christmas surprise,” she lied.
On
the tenth day of Christmas,
She
passed that cake along…
To
street Santa.
“Fruitcake,
my favorite Christmas surprise,” he lied.
On
the eleventh day of Christmas,
He
passed that cake along…
To
me!
“Fruitcake, my favorite
Christmas surprise,” I lied again.
On
the twelfth day of Christmas,
I
passed that cake along…
To
my dog,
Who
ate it and…
Thankfully,
the fruitcake was gone!
Until,
next Christmas.
Perfect ending to the fruitcake no one wanted, Lynne Marie. Is Merryweather Kane your muse? :)
ReplyDeleteShe is a friend who I mentor (that is her pen name) and I worked with her on the entry as a writing exercise challenge. Such a fun challenge, right? Thanks always, @Vivian Kirkfield for popping in.
DeleteSo funny. The dreaded fruitcake and the mastery of "re-gifting." Glad the dog ended the cycle!
ReplyDeleteLOL @McMarshall -- I know, right? You can just imagine everyone's expressions LOL Thanks for stopping by My Word Playground!
DeleteI too hate fruitcake, but I loved this. Great ending.
ReplyDeleteAwww, thanks, David! LOL about the fruitcake! Thanks for stopping by My Word Playground.
DeleteWhere all fruitcakes should end up, with the dog. Cute!
ReplyDeleteIsn't that the truth, @Lindsay Leslie. Thank you for stopping by My Word Playground!
DeleteClassic!
ReplyDeleteAwww, thanks for stopping by My Word Playground, @Marla and for your comment.
DeleteI've never met anyone who likes fruitcake. I recently discover chocolate panettone which is a million times better. Good luck and happy holidays!
ReplyDeleteDiscovered that is. Ugghh.
DeleteMy boyfriend loves fruitcake and couldn't believe that NO ONE else does. I reassured him. NO ONE else. LOL Thanks for stopping by My Word Playground, @Gregory E. Bray!
DeleteDogs won't complain! cute circular story.
ReplyDeleteLOL at least while they are eating but I worry it will be like lead in their little stomachs! Thanks for stopping by, @Lauri Meyers. So good to have you back.
DeleteThank god for dogs! I don't like fruit cake either and that's no lie. Great story!
ReplyDeleteYes, a dog provided the best way to end the fruitcake drama LOL Thanks for visiting @JeanJames926
DeleteAh ha, so now we know what happens to the fruitcake. I always wondered!
ReplyDelete@LindaSchueler -- we HOPE that happens rather than getting it back. Thanks for stopping by My Word Playground!
ReplyDeleteFunny fruitcake story with the perfect ending!
ReplyDeleteLOL -- great comment, Gabi! Thanks for stopping by My Word Playground!
DeleteHahaha! If only they'd thought of the dog first they could have saved themselves a lot of fruitcake passing and lying! :) Very fun! And I'm hoping the dog didn't have the kind of incident as a result that mine would no doubt have had to eating a fruitcake! :) Thanks so much for joining in the fun, and Happy Holidays!
ReplyDeleteLOL Well -- that's a whole other story! Thanks for giving me a laugh this evening!
DeleteSo funny! The fruitcakes look so pretty, but taste so, well, you know. My dog would definitely gobble it up, just the same.
ReplyDelete@Rondi -- LOL so glad to hear our story rings true! Thanks for stopping by My Word Playground!
ReplyDelete