Sunday, March 25, 2018


FOR A LIMITED TIME, you can take advantage of my manuscript critique and editing services at a lower cost. Please be aware that prices will be going up January 1, 2019. You can pre-purchase packages to be used now or at a later date.

First, here's my BIO:

Lynne Marie is the author of Hedgehog Goes to Kindergarten - illustrated by Anne Kennedy (Scholastic, 2011), Hedgehog's 100th Day of School – illustrated by Lorna Hussey (Scholastic, January 2017), The Star of the Christmas Play -- illustrated by Lorna Hussey (Beaming Books, 2018), Moldilocks and the 3 Scares -- illustrated by David Rodriguez Lorenzo (Sterling, 2019)  and Let’s Eat Around the World (Beaming Books, 2019) as well as two pending books in the series and more forthcoming. When she's not travelling around the world for her job as a Travel Agent, she lives on a lake in South Florida with her daughter, son, a Schipperke named Anakin and several resident water birds. You can learn more about her at

TERMS: Payment received prior to services rendered, in the form of Venmo (@Lynne-Marie-1) Friends and Family Paypal OR Paypal with Fees ( Please note that this pricing is already heavily reduced, so I need to receive the correct payment quote, not a reduced payment with paypal fees taken out.

PLEASE NOTE: If you send the wrong amount by sending Paypal Goods and Services without adding on the Extra Fees, you will need to send a 2nd amount to correct the amount. So please be careful when sending. Either FRIENDS AND FAMILY or PAYPAL FOR GOODS AND SERVICES PLUS FEES (which I believe are around .30 plus 2.9% per transaction) or VENMO (a Paypal App) will be accepted. 

The rates below are for picture books for to 700 words. If your picture book is longer that this, there is a $5.00 surcharge for each additional amount up to 150 words. So, for example a Manuscript of  740 words would have a $5 surcharge and a manuscript of 975 words would have a $10 surcharge. If you are adding your 1-2 line pitch at the top, which is fine and highly recommended, please add $2.50 to the total. Honed pitches will get you attention in queries and in twitter pitches so this step is very important!

COST: $20.18 per picture book Manuscript

NOTE: You can buy more than one of these and get a discount if you PRE-PAY at the time of your first order. For example, $100 will get you five (5) Picture Book Critiques on account.

COST: $25.18 per picture book Manuscript

NOTE: You can buy more than one of these and get a discount if you PRE-PAY at the time of your first order. For example, $100 will get you FOUR (4) Picture Book Critiques on account, PLUS an extra 10 Minutes of Phone Consultation.

COST: $27.68

NOTE: You can buy more than one of these and get a discount if you PRE-PAY at the time of your first order. For example, $100 will get you FOUR (4) Picture Book Critique / Consultations on account.

COST: $25.00
Follow-up critique on revisions, if not pre-purchased, will be $25.00 and will include a telephone consultation for any portion  of 1 hour's time not used up by the critique.

COST: $5.00
Cover Letters, whether pre-purchased or not, will be $5.00.

COST: $5.00
If you have previously purchased a critique from me prior to 3/30/18 and did not get to take advantage of the Add-On Phone Consult, you can do so NOW for only $5. We will pull up the critiqued manuscript and discuss for 15 minutes.

COST: $10
Each session will be 10 minutes via telephone. PRE-PAY for 6 "Hone Your Pitch Sessions" at $60 and get 1 Pitch Session FREE. Great for cover letter pitches or twitter pitch contests!

I will edit your bio for your query letter for an additional $5 charge.

Please feel contact me to check in and see if the sale is still valid, and/or for regular rates on pitches, cover letters, picture book manuscripts, chapter books and MORE.

Here is what clients have said recently:

What amazes me about you is not only that you send the critiques out so quickly (you must have racing stripes on your red pen), but also that the quality of your critiques are so good. Your fee is darn reasonable, too. J.S.

You are efficient! Thank you so much for your very helpful, speedy feedback! That was one of the most thorough critiques I've ever received. 

I want to say thank you for your critique of my story. I’ve had a chance to review it a few times and your notes and suggestions will be extremely helpful for my revision. I obviously have a lot of work still to do on this story, but I want to continue to develop it into, hopefully a polished manuscript for submission. Your thoughtful and detailed critique has set me in the right direction.

You don't know how much joy you brought me when I saw your critique and that is priceless. Thank you for continuing to motivate me as a fellow writer. Alicia Minor.

Thank you so much, Lynne. Your insights on both of these pieces are incredible. You've given me a LOT to think about and I'm excited to tackle the revisions. Very much appreciated!

Many thanks for the detailed critique! I have already incorporated many of your changes and ideas.

Lynne Marie has been a critique partner for years. She has great insight into what makes a picture book work. And this is a bargain price— buy five! Sherry Hyberger Howard

Many thanks, again, for this extremely insightful and helpful critique! I can't wait to work on revisions.

I have never learned so much from someone's critiques as I have from yours. You make me see things so much clearer. They have been thoughtful and honest. You have no clue how much you are teaching me. Thank you SO much. I didn’t know what to expect with my first critique, but Lynne Marie made the entire process painless and enjoyable! My manuscript took so many necessary turns and twists that I didn’t even know I needed! Andrea Jaimes

 Thank you for your incredibly helpful feedback!  You have given me a lot to think about.

Feel free to contact me for more testimonials. 

For a limited time, if you book a Vacation Package through me as a Travel Agent, I will give you two (2) picture book manuscript critiques of up to 750 words PLUS two (2) 15 minute telephone consultations. Details: Offers available upon final payment and only on packages which are non-refundable or have insurance. Not combinable with other Pixie Perks like Cruise Line Door Decorations, Onboard Credits or Gift Cards.

PPBF: A Review of Bird, Balloon, Bear by Ill Sung Na

TITLE: Bird, Balloon, Bear
AUTHOR: Il Sung Na
PUBLISHER: Alfred A. Knopf, 2017
IMPRINT: Borzoi Books

SNIPPET: It was Bird's first day in a new forest and he was looking for a friend. It wasn't long before he found someone! But Bird was too shy to say hello. 

When he finally felt brave enough... was TOO LATE! Bear already had a friend. 

A simple and effectively-told story of a bird, a balloon and a bear with a satisfying ending and the subtle message that good things may come to those who wait, but yet take action when they receive the call. Bird's story is depicted in somewhat simple, soft and beautiful art which also lends to the appeal of this sweet story. 

While some of the sentences might be considered a bit tell-y, it ends up working well and I wouldn't change a thing. We are brought straight to the heart of the matter without delay and the sparse text is enhanced with the emotion portrayed in the art. 

This story gives hope for second chances, which are well worth the wait. 

RATING: 5 out of 5 Peas