COMMENTARY: MORE Insights from a PB Chat Mentor by Lynne Marie and SPECIAL SUBSCRIBER OFFERS for Applicants

My life got a little crazy (just being back from Europe and having so much to catch up on, and how life so often does!) so I had a little breather and now I'm looking back at the applications. I do think that some distance from the manuscripts and now focusing on my short list has served me well. I imagine that editors do much the same thing and that you will need to survive several rounds of reads to get an offer.

What I was basically looking for in this round, was:

1.  Does the story still stand out to me?
2.  Was the story as rewarding to read on the second round?
3.  Again, is this a story I want to work with?
4.  Again, is this a story that I feel I can offer assistance on?

I am also going through and reading the bios and questions with a little more focus, since I will be working with these writers.  And again, I want to be sure I can help facilitate their goals in some way.

Here are some issues that stuck out to me on the second read.

Primarily, that the story was not as satisfying the second time around, AND
that it just wasn't a story that I wanted to read again and again as I worked on it.

So do keep that in mind while writing your manuscripts. Re-readability is key. Most buyers/readers want a book they can read again and again. Most of my favorites have that quality, as I am sure do  yours. Here are some factors that contribute to re-readability:

Kid appeal.
Fascinating setting.
Endearing character.
Engaging plot.
Active attempts to solve problem.
Physical/emotional journey.
Heart.
Satisfying resolution.

Now keep in mind that I was not even looking for polished manuscripts. The above list is actually kind of general and broad. But I am looking for the potential for these things in the the manuscripts.

As I read through the short list of manuscripts, I found that many weren't as intriguing to me on the second read. This is one of the reason for instilling different layers in books. It's great when you read a book again and discover it had another layer to it. Something else to think about!

I know I've mentioned layers again and I do that a lot. Picture books should work on several levels.  But don't get overwhelmed. Think of them like rows of yarn threads in a knit cap or in a crocheted blanket. You get a rhythm, you pull the right colored threads and weave them together to form a piece with no holes where there shouldn't be.

Here are some things I know will be working on with whomever I chose. These are more specific and more detailed than the items mentioned above, and all lend to creating those bigger concepts.

Character flaw (+ how relates to problem)
Stakes
Language
Tension
Activeness
Potential for Illustration
Page Turns
Tension
Language
Pacing
Active attempts to solve
Kid appeal

If anyone is reading this to use as a revision checklist for their manuscript, I would recommending picking one item and checking for that with each read. Then pick the next item and focus on that, making sure each layer is intact and as best as can be.

So after sifting through the manuscripts again all day, I am happy to say -- I have selected two Mentees and one Runner-up!

I am so excited and can't for the announcement on 7/31.

If you applied to me, but I did not choose you, please know that I am so very sorry that I could not choose more. It was tough to limit to three.

Please consider signing up for my blog -- I will try to share as much as I can here from time to time to try and assist as many as I can on their journey.


PITCH CRITIQUE OFFER:
I wanted to post again that I am happy to offer a FREE PITCH CRITIQUE to anyone who follows this blog and who does not get selected for a Mentorship on 7/30. Believe it or not, once you have perfected your pitch, it is often enlightening and helps you write and make sense of your story.

Please note that this is a first-come, first served offer, and that there is no promised time-frame for return as I often get very busy with critiques. But I will do each one, and I will return them in the order received. They must be sent to THEPICTUREBOOKMECHANIC@GMAIL.COM. And you must comment here, that you have sent an e-mail with a pb title pitch and any other comment you wish to make. I will post here when the offer has expired. Until then, feel free to submit (1) pitch for critique.


ADDITIONAL OFFER: If you would like to try out one of my picture book critiques, for the month of August ONLY, I am offering a $5.00 DISCOUNT per manuscript critique discount to #PB Chat Members for their first critique. Current clients may also take advantage of this offer, as long as you are a #PB Chat participant/applicant.

JUST KEEP WRITING, JUST KEEP WRITING! 

BOOK A VACATION PACKAGE, 

GET A FREE MENTOR SESSION

(when you return from your trip!) 

JOIN ME - Facebook Live Presentation @The Children's Book Academy - Friday, 7/26 @6PM

Want to hear more about how to write PICTURE BOOKS Books that pack a punch and STAND OUT? Join my FB Live video chat on Friday at 6 PM during Mira Reisberg's Children's Book Academy Picture Book Palooza <3 Hope to see you there! There'll be LOTS of TIPS, fabulous BOOK recommendations and MORE!
https://www.facebook.com/childrensbookacademy/

COMMENTARY: Insights from a PB Chat Mentor by Lynne Marie and SPECIAL SUBSCRIBER OFFERS for Applicants

INSIGHTS FROM A PB CHAT MENTOR

by Lynne Marie

I wanted to share thoughts as I go through the large pile of candidates for the #PB CHAT Mentorship as I hope it will share some necessary insights that may be useful to any of the applicants in other submission opportunities.

IT'S NOT PERSONAL
I'll be honest - when I opened each application, I read the story first, and then read the application itself with varied levels of interest.

Here's the reason behind that -- if the story is not a one that I connect with or feel I can be helpful with, then it's likely not a good choice for me or for you. This doesn't even necessarily say anything about the writing, the viability of the idea, although those can and might be factors.

My first run through applications was merely to choose a story that I had interest in as I will likely be spending time with it. In fact, I made a list of names and topics to help narrow down my selection. Of course, all of these, I felt I could be of assistance to as a mentor. And I'll be further honest -- the topics of my shorter list, for the most part, had animal hooks (with the exception of a few intriguing stories about witches, ballerinas and scientists and a balloon).

What does this say about me (or an editor or agent)? That I prefer anthropomorphic or animal stories, that I don't mind stories about inanimate objects and that I like colorful, focused characters, like witches, ballerinas and/or scientists. There had to be something for me that made the story stand out. For example, amidst all the sloths, dinosaurs and sea animals (don't get me wrong, I have two sloth stories, several sea animal stories and several dinosaur stories as well), a story about a yak (I actually have one of those too), was quite refreshing and nice to see! It stood out!

ATTRACTING EDITORS AND AGENTS:
You will find that personal taste dictates to editors and agents, too, so it is a really good idea to get to know your editor/agent and what they like/what appeals to them. Of course, you won't have extensive bios like us mentors filled out. But there are ways to get this information, like the Spotlight Features I write about Editors / Agents for Children's Book Insider (www.writeforkids.com), searching Publisher's Marketplace if you have a subscription and doing online research or reading conference bios. I have to also admit that my shortlist wasn't much shorter than my original list. Most applicants did a good job of sending a story on a topic that would appeal to me!

But my main point here, is that not once did I consider or not consider anyone based upon personal details. And please know that editors, also, are not reacting against you, either! They are merely going with the story that speaks to them (for whatever reason personal to them). Don't give up -- make your story the best it can be and find someone who your story speaks to!

GOOD WRITING
There were so many well-written manuscripts. But there weren't quite as many well-told stories. I hope this make sense, as I think it can prove entirely helpful. A phrase I often repeat is: "Good writing and a token can get you on the New York City subway." Because it takes more -- it takes good storytelling, and if you can start to appreciate the difference, your picture book manuscripts will improve greatly.

Put your manuscript away for a bit, and the next time you read it, shake yourself out and try to listen with some distance (not as the author). Read it aloud -- is the beginning hooking? Is the story engaging? Is the language lyrical? What bumps you out of the story or confuses or distracts you? Start to train your inner critic. Don't just write well, tell a compelling story.

THINGS THAT NEEDED WORK
Of course, these are things that I will address with my chosen Mentee in our Mentorship, but for those wonderful, promising authors that I regrettably will not be able to work with (since I can only select one), here are areas of concern.

Surprisingly, there were quite a few manuscripts that:

Didn't have an intriguing title.

Gave away the ending in the title.

Didn't present a hook in the beginning to keep the interest flowing.

Didn't really have a lot of conflict (if at all) or tension.

Felt quite common and didn't stand out quite well enough. Even as a reader, I was looking for fresh new slants that stand out above the rest.

Didn't have a compelling problem.

Had adult interference or distraction early on in the manuscript. I really wanted to read about the child and see what they wanted and what drove them and their story.

Had language that was kind of blah.

Didn't focus on emotional reactions of the characters.

Didn't have a main character that drove the story forward to a satisfying ending.

Didn't hit on that quality that a kid will be able to readily identify with and a flaw/problem that will inspire a child to root for it.

I do hope that you find these comments helpful. Please sign up to follow this blog for more helpful tips and offers.

IN CLOSING:
I have spent the better part of the day since 8 AM on this have only completed a quick first run.

I will be reviewing again tomorrow, looking at a list of other items of consideration which I hope to have time to also share with you.

I hope all of you know that we Mentors are striving to make the best possible match with our personality and style and do not in any way get discouraged, but merely dust yourself off and stay in the game (tip: that's how to win). I am happy to offer a FREE PITCH CRITIQUE to anyone who follows this blog and who does not get selected for a Mentorship on 7/30. Believe it or not, once you have perfected your pitch, it is often enlightening and helps you write and make sense of your story.

Please note that this is a first-come, first served offer, and that there is no promised time-frame for return as I often get very busy with critiques. But I will do each one, and I will return them in the order received. They must be sent to THEPICTUREBOOKMECHANIC@GMAIL.COM. And you must comment here, that you have sent an e-mail with a pb title pitch and any other comment you wish to make. I will post here when the offer has expired. Until then, feel free to submit (1) pitch for critique.

JUST KEEP WRITING, JUST KEEP WRITING! 

BOOK A VACATION PACKAGE, 

GET A FREE MENTOR SESSION

(when you return from your trip!) 

CHECK OUT my Guest Post over at THE WRITER'S RUMPUS!

So happy to be a Guest at Writer's Rumpus today and join in the fun!

https://writersrumpus.com/2019/07/02/the-s-and-s-of-writing-holiday-books/

THE STORY BEHIND THE STORY: Lola Shapes the Sky by Wendy Greenley (by the Author)

 The Story Behind LOLA SHAPES THE SKY 
by Wendy Greenley 
illustrated by Paolo Domeniconi

I started writing Lola Shapes the Sky in 2012. The idea had been noodling around in my head for a while, and I felt like I was finally ready to put it down on paper. It was going to be a book about clouds looking down at people. I wrote a humorous story, set in cloud school. I had it critiqued by my local critique partners, and eventually by peers at an SCBWI conference and then by an editor at the conference. The editor who gave me my critique seemed to like the story, and I had high hopes for it. Sky high hopes.

At the time, I was unagented, and I sent the manuscript to a few other editors who responded asking me to send more work, but saying that this manuscript wasn’t a good fit for them. I put the manuscript away and worked on other stories.

I decided to get more editorial input on my work and saved up for Picture Book Boot Camp at The Highlights Foundation. If you ever get the chance to attend any one of their workshops, I highly recommend it! My workshop featured Author/Illustrators Pat Cummings, Denise Fleming, Paul O. Zelinsky, agent Rachel Orr, Art Director Laurent Linn and author Bruce Degen. As part of the application process, I submitted a manuscript about a chicken, and my round-table group gave me feedback on it, but when it came time to discuss one of the manuscripts we loved with the agent and art director, I couldn’t get LOLA out of my mind, and I shared that story.

The Highlights workshop changed my literal and figurative perspective. I FINALLY realized that the problem with the manuscript wasn’t my words per se, it was that the physical viewpoint limited an illustrator. When I returned from the workshop, LOLA went back in the drawer to steep. Finally, about a year later, I couldn’t get LOLA out of my head and went back with fresh eyes, and rewrote the entire manuscript. It’s a totally different plot now. No school. More Awww, less Haaa! And that’s fine with me! My story about a cloud who doesn’t fit in and remains true to herself, realizing that she has to be who she is remains. The heart of the story beats stronger than ever. The new version of the story connected me with my agent and publisher. And now it’s out in the world for everyone to read.

Jacket Flap: “Lola is not like the other clouds. While they are busy making shade and rain and snow, as clouds do, Lola makes shapes. “Clouds make weather, not shapes!” thunders Thor. But while Thor’s thunder makes people run for cover, Lola’s fantastic shapes inspire awe and wonder.  Clouds make weather and shapes, after all.”

Author Bio: Wendy Greenley doesn’t mind if you say she has her head in the clouds. With her recent picture book debut, she’s on cloud nine with her main character, Lola. Besides writing for children, Wendy has been a telephone interviewer (sorry), ice cream scooper, night security guard, microbiologist and attorney. Wendy graduated with her M.S. in microbiology from The University of Delaware and a J.D. from Villanova University. You can find seven of her nonfiction stories for adults in Chicken Soup for the Soup anthologies (and on a Chicken Soup dog food bag!).

Meet Wendy—

Website: www.wendygreenley.com

On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wendy.greenley.3

On Twitter: https://twitter.com/WendyGreenley

THE STORY BEHIND THE STORY: Rosie the Dragon and Charlie Make Waves by Lauren Kerstein (by Lauren Kerstein)

THE STORY BEHIND THE STORY

feature on

My Word Playground!

Thank you for hosting me on your blog, Lynne! Congratulations on your upcoming books: MOLDILOCKS AND THE THREE SCARES and LET’S EAT: MEALTIMES AROUND THE WORLD.

Writing challenges, swim team, and flexibility (i.e., saying “YES!) helped me create ROSIE THE DRAGON AND CHARLIE MAKE WAVES.

Let me explain:

In April 2016, I read a ReFoReMo post by Tammi Sauer about structure. I was fascinated by the myriad of structures we might use to write picture books. In May 2016, when I participated in NaPiBoWriWee, I was curious to see if I could write in different structures, so I challenged myself to do just that.

I wrote a “how to” book about putting your mommy to bed. It was fun and cute, but critiquers asked: “Can you make this more unique?”

I said, “YES! How about a dragon who wants to learn how to swim?!”

And then I revised. And revised. And revised.

At that time, I was one of the Parent Reps who ran our swim team (NOT a job for the weak). I hid in a corner revising Rosie and Charlie’s story. Ideas flooded me as I listened to the swift strokes of swimmers and wiped pool water from my face. If you’ve ever been a swim team parent, you know the trials and tribulations of keeping track of goggles, intense summer friendships, overcoming fears, and eating more sugar at swim meets than you thought humanly (or dragonly) possible.

 I subbed to critique group after critique group. (Including Lynne—thank you!)

And then I revised. And revised. And revised. Again.

I queried agent after agent after agent after agent until finally, Deborah Warren (East West Literary Agency) said “YES!”

Deborah asked, “Can you incorporate actual swim skills?”

I said, “Yes! What a terrific idea!”

So, I revised again.

When an editor asked, “Can you rewrite this as a character-focused manuscript with a more typical structure?”

I said, “YES!”

And revised again, until:

ROSIE THE DRAGON AND CHARLIE MAKE WAVES was born.

I am thrilled to share Rosie and Charlie with the world!

May you live courageously and make waves, just like Rosie and Charlie!

Lauren is giving away a critique and a copy of the book.

Lauren Kerstein is an author and psychotherapist. She is a Jersey girl at heart who loves reading, drinking tea, and devouring chocolate. Lauren currently lives in Colorado with her husband, Josh, their two dragons...er, daughters, Sarah and Danielle, and Hudson, the dog. Her picture book, ROSIE THE DRAGON AND CHARLIE MAKE WAVES, recently swam to shelves near you. She runs a critique business, is a member of SCBWI, is a judge for Rate Your Story, and is one of the founders of #ReVISIONweek. Lauren also writes books in the mental health field. Her writing goals are simple. Read voraciously. Embrace feedback. Grow each day. Work hard. Be passionate. Write courageously. Touch children’s hearts.

Website Link: www.LaurenKerstein.net

Social Media Links:

FB: @laurenkersteinauthor
IG: @laurenkerstein
Twitter: @laurenkerstein

Jacket Flap Copy from Book (Optional):

It’s summertime, and you’re invited for a rollicking day at the pool with Charlie and his pet dragon (and best friend!), Rosie. But be careful—swimming with a dragon can be, um, challenging. As Rosie and Charlie blow bubbles (don’t forget your umbrella!), practice flutter kicks (watch out for tidal waves!), and offer shoulder rides (hang on tight!), Rosie proves that dragons make the most fun pets ever. Now if only Charlie can keep Rosie’s attention focused on the rules at the pool and NOT on her gummy snacks (you know, the ones that cause stinky dragon breath!)…Grab your towels and sunscreen and join Rosie and Charlie for a fun-filled summer adventure!

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THE STORY BEHIND THE STORY: No Bears Allowed by Lydia Lukidis (by Lydia Lukidis)

THE STORY BEHIND THE STORY

No Bears Allowed

By Lydia Lukidis

[Note: Apologies for spacing -- there are not only bears and rabbits, but GREMLINS!]

The story: Rabbit is afraid of many things, but most of all he’s afraid of gigantic, monstery,

BEARS! The very nervous Rabbit is soon confronted by his worst fear who appears

to be far more interested in making new friends than causing Rabbit any real harm.

Despite his apprehension, Rabbit agrees to join his jovial new acquaintance for dinner,

but wait a minute . . . is Bear planning to “have” Rabbit for dinner? In this tender story

about a very nervous rabbit and a lovable bear, Rabbit discovers that things aren’t

always as scary as they seem, and sometimes you may just have more in common with

others than you think.

The story behind the story:

The story being this story is particularly exciting! As writers, we feel immense joy

when our ideas come to life, and when our characters jump off the page. I feel privileged

and honored to have many published books under my belt. Each one holds a special place

in my heart. I started out my career writing eBooks, then moved onto to work-for-hire

projects. These were books for which I received directions from the publisher on what

to write about, and how. I went on to publish two trade pictures books, but again, I

worked with characters already created by the publisher. I do love this kind of work,

but my head was also bursting with so many other ideas of my own, waiting impatiently

to be unleashed.

And with NO BEARS ALLOWED, it all magically came together. For the first time,

my own ideas and characters were going to star in their very own book. I think I did

the “happy dance” for a week straight! The concept of the book trickled out slowly

but naturally. I’ve always been fascinated by bears. Then I imagined a bear who,

although looked menacing, was friendly, kooky, and lovable on the inside. My character

Bear quickly took flight. Then I thought it would be comical and also endearing if

another animal was petrified of bears. And with that, Rabbit was born in an instant.

Not only is he afraid of bears, but he’s also pretty much afraid of everything in between,

including his own shadow.

NO BEARS ALLOWED was always character-driven right from the start. Characters

came first, and story came second. It was not deliberate on my part, I just followed the

flow. I had two solid characters, Bear and Rabbit, who seemed like opposites. But…were

they? What would happen if one day, while Rabbit was going about his day, he came face

to face with his worst nightmare: a bear? Would his fears come true? Or would Bear

surprise him? It might just be that a most unlikely friendship might develop.

You’ll just have to read the book to find out!

A big thank-you to Alayne Christian and Steve Kemp from Blue Whale Press

https://www.bluewhalepress.com/) for seeing the magic in this story and to Tara J.

Hannon (https://www.tarajhannon.com/) for making the most whimsical illustrations

in the world.

About the author:

Lydia Lukidis is a children’s author with over 40 books and eBooks published, along with
numerous short stories, poems and plays. She writes fiction and nonfiction for ages 3-12,
and also composes educational texts. Her background is multi-disciplinary and spans the
fields of literature, science, and theater. Lydia is also passionate about spreading the love
of literacy and has been giving writing workshops in elementary schools across Quebec
since 1999.

Social Media links:

Website: http://www.lydialukidis.com/

Blog: https://lydialukidis.wordpress.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LydiaLukidis/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/LydiaLukidis

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lydialukidis/?trk=hp-identity-name

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