1. If the line of text or dialogue doesn't move the story forward, replace it or delete.
2. Don't stack prepositional phrases, usually they lengthen and weaken the sentence, and often, will be shown in the art.
3. In general, sentences in picture books should be, on the average four - eight words to match the attention span of the 4-8 year old reader. If there are too many words, the sentence becomes cumbersome and hard for the reader to remember all the details. Write tight and bright :)
4. Replace all weak verbs like is, are, was, were, has, have, want to, started to, began to, etc. with active verbs, instead, if at all possible. Look at it as a fun challenge.
5. You can usually delete the word the from in front of a noun and the sentence will read better, with less weaker words.
Hope these help. Happy Revising!
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